01.01.09
Happy New Year
Dear Vicky,
Happy New Year! Can you believe how quickly the last one went by? It really fills my heart with joy, thinking back on all the happy months I spent with you. There is so much I am grateful for, you give me companionship and love that makes me truly happy. I have lived more in these past 10 months than I ever did before, and it is all because of you. Darling, I have never been so in love. ♥
I wonder what 2009 has in store for us. Nothing makes me happier than the thought of yet another semester with each other, yet I know my graduation hangs over us like a gloomy specter. Don’t let this get you down, after all, the past year was not without its own trials and tribulations. Some things could have gone better, but darling, just think, things could just as easily have been much, much worse. I am lucky to be alive, and grateful for the chance to be with you.
Hopefully my graduate schools applications will turn out favorably, and I will not end up too far from you. Whatever happens, I am going to visit as often as I can. -hugs- I want you to know that I will always be there for you, to support you and love you. There are rough patches ahead of us, my love, but we will persevere, I promise you that.
So Happy New Year darling, and always be happy. 
Love and many kisses
Eric
P.S. Roo sends his love too! ♥ <- he says it is covered in chocolate.
07.27.08
Sleep Well, My Darling
Dear Victoria,
I hope you’re getting lots of good sleep and rest after your long exhausting day out. Really wish I could be there with you… to tuck you in, watch you as you lay peacefully sleeping, making you soup for breakfast….
It really has been a long crummy summer huh? Neither of us really managed to do anything worthwhile. 
I hate this separation that keeps us apart, and you have no idea how much comfort I derive from just… getting to talk to you everyday, hearing how you’ve been, worrying ourselves over every ache and pain, and doing so much together, even while so far apart.
Thank you baby, for being there for me so much and so often. Can’t wait till I get back, to show you how much I’ve really really miss you. We have so many plans and ideas and little scenes to act out huh. Rawr. You really are the best.
Really wish, that we could put all our cares and worries down, leave everything behind and just live a happy, carefree existence together somewhere far far away. Just you and I, forever and ever and ever. -Sigh- It’s such a beautiful dream. Maybe someday, someday we’ll travel the world in a sailing boat huh?
I love you.
-nuzzle nuzzle-
Can’t wait till Wes… it’s almost like, a promise, that all our little ails and worries will disappear once we get back. But whatever happens, whatever challenges await us still, at least we’ll be facing it together. -hugs-
Love,
The loverboy,
Eric
07.25.08
I Miss You
Dear Eric,
It’s been exactly 70 days..
Sometimes I have this uncontrollable overwhelming helpless feeling
..of just missing you.
Sometimes it gets incredibly hard to bear but thankfully you help ease the longing.
I’ve done almost nothing this summer but pathetically pine away for you each and every single day and night.
Yet we still have to wait… another 36-37 more days until we’re finally reunited again.
I admire those who have to wait a year or two. ..or more.
It’s amazing how love can pull them through, huh?
It’s amazing how love can pull us through 
especially when we’re both so bad at long distance relationships..
But however much longer I’ve to wait, I’ll still do it just for you.
I just can’t wait until you come back..
Then we can finally do everything we said we’d do..
And maybe, just maybe, my physical state of being will return to normalcy.
Heh. I suppose it’s reflecting my emotions for the past two months, eh? :3
Can’t wait till Wes. Maybe.. hopefully.. everything will go back to the way it was.
Rawr. I love you darling.
And I’m missing you more than ever.
Love,
The Emo PMSing Gf,
Victoria
07.18.08
Letter-format, and pointless letters
Dear Victoria,
Do you remember how this letter-format thing got started? We never really wrote each others letters now did we, it was mostly just conversations over messenger. Except there were those pointless letters you kept leaving me, folded into that beautiful ribbon shape.
I remember being so pleasantly surprised, each time I found that you had slip another one into my jacket or book. They never said much, but at the same time they meant so very very much. I would find a quiet chance and grab a moment, to read and reread each and every word, savouring each fold in the paper, each little waggytailheart you drew.
And best of all was the not-so-pointless letter, it actually did contain a point! Gosh that totally caught me by surprise. That’s just like you, always keeping me on my toes. ♥
But was that how our letter formats started? Maybe….
I no longer really remember how we started using letter-formats in our online conversations. It was sometime during Spring Break, but beyond that it’s all a blur. Yet it was such a charming thing to do. Starting each block of text with a “dear victoria”, and ending them with a “love, eric”. In that way we went back and forth, each having a turn to say whatever it was on our mind.
I loved it. Within that rigid structure there was a freedom of expression, that space in the middle was almost sacred. Each ‘letter’ contained a thought, an idea, a question, and neither of us would interrupt or say anything until the end. Alternating in this way between listening and expressing, there were fewer broken thoughts and misunderstandings.
And that’s always a good thing. Hmm? 
Huggles, cuddles, and kisses,
Eric
07.03.08
I’m Sorry
My love,
You are my everything, Victoria. I am so very sorry, that these pooey things had to happen and ruin all our happy plans together. OMG it makes me so mad to think that the countdown was getting so low… and then I had to go make a stupid mistake like that and blow it all.
Sigh.
I seem to do nothing but make stupid mistakes.
I really really wish I could be there right now, with you, hugging you as you sleep. I miss that so so much. And I worry about you, I worry that you’re not eating enough, I worry that you’ll fall sick, I worry that I won’t get back soon enough, and it’d break your heart. I worry so much.
You have to be strong for me, darling. Please? I will come back to you as soon as I can, and you can make me drink all the pooey tonic you want. Ok?
I love you, with all my heart.
I really do.
-nuzzle-
Your babyroo,
Eric
06.17.08
4 Months <3
Dear Eric,
Wow I really can’t believe it’s been four months already. Though I couldn’t spend the whole of last month with you, I’m incredibly grateful for those several hours each day during which I got to talk with you. We both have been sacrificing so much — waking up early and sleeping late each night just to talk and keep in touch.
This past month has been really difficult, with misunderstandings and over-thinking and all that pooey stuff. At least, I guess, we only have another month left to go till we see each other. It’ll be difficult seeing/meeting up with you sometimes, but we’ll make the best of it, huh? And if I have to go out for piano teaching one day, you can totes sit in and watch or something hahah. Just kid. I won’t make you wait (much). And I must be crazy to let you watch me anyway
Anyyyhow, the three months that I DID get to spend with you were incredible. We got close pretty quickly, hanging out for most of the day everyday. Gradually, we more or less spent like, 24/7 with each other, which some people have criticized, but.. we’ll see what happens this coming year, meh? You’ll be so busy with your thesis. ;( I can see myself running up and down the path between Weshop and Olin/SciLi (wherever your carrel is), fetching you food haha <3
Whatever happens in the future, you know I’ll always support you and be there for you, and I’m so glad to know you’ll happily do the same for me. Even before we got together, you’ve never failed to be there for me when I needed someone. It’s no wonder so many people (-cough- girls) run to you to vent. ;D
So like.. I promised you I wouldn’t read your entry before I was done with this. Don’t know how long yours is or what tone you wrote yours in. I’m trying to suppress the mushiness a bit Haha. Doot doo..
Anyways, we’ve got 29 more days to go. I’m sososo incredibly excited I personally don’t think NYC has that many things to do or places to go, but we’ll come up with something =) We could meet up with your friends and have dimsum in Flushing or Manhattan or even Brooklyn, haha. Ooh. And then you could meet my city friends, all of whom know who you are by now 
And we’ll go KTV-ing, pinkberry-ing, shopping, speedboating, rowboating, horse-carriage-riding around Central Park, beaching, etc. It’s all up to you I really can’t wait for that incredible night at South Street Seaport <3
So happy fourth month! I’ve honestly never been happier in a relationship Every [intangible] thing you’ve given me has been so genuine. I truly appreciate you and the love & trust you’ve given me. =) Thanks for everything, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
You’re the best and you know it. ;P
Sorry this isn’t as deep as it potentially can be (you know.. like my private entries.. ), but I’m making it as appropriate of a public entry as possible for our readers. Haaa. <3
Completely Yours,
Victoria
Happy 4th Month
My dearest,
Four months have gone by, and our love seems to deepen, strengthen and grow firmer with every month that passes. It makes me so glad, my heart sings with joy whenever I think of you, whenever I think of us.
I love our stories. How we met, the little things that brought us together, that great big pounce… reminiscing with you has made this long separation a little more bearable, a little more endurable. Ah what delight there is in musing over so beautiful a love, and how comforting it is that, though the endless distances may keep us apart, still we find means to nourish our love and watch it grow.
To be with you, it is the opiate I so devoutly wish for. Everyday I long for that hour when we will finally be reunited, to bury myself in your fond embrace, to taste the sweet nectar of your honeyed lips. Indeed, this separation is as a wound to my heart, and casts a pale shadow over these long, joy-less days, yet I take solace in the knowledge that, a month hence, we shall be celebrating our fifth month, and we shall be celebrating it together.
I love you Victoria, with all my nervous, boyish heart. ♥ You have given me more than I could ever ask for. Always I have found my happiness in the service of others, yet you are the one person who has ever made me feel fully appreciated, like well and truly appreciated. And it means a lot to me, Victoria, it really does.
-muah!-
Faithfully yours,
Eric
06.10.08
Happy Birthday Sweetheart
Dear Victoria,
Happy Birthday darling! Imagine, 19 years ago you were just a wee little tot, crying in the arms of your mom. Haha, now you’re older and bigger, but definitely as adorable as ever. ♥
In Malay we would wish you: “Selamat Hari Jadi”, which means something like… “Safe/Well-wishing Day of Becoming”… yeah basically just Happy Birthday lah… hahaha. Gosh and you know that birthday song that goes:
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Vicky
Happy Birthday to you.
Well, the Malay version of it is very very similar, and very simple too! It goes like this:
Selamat Hari Jadi
Selamat Hari Jadi
Selamat Hari Jadi
Selamat Hari Jadi.
Yeah… very original right? Rawr!
Really wish I could be there with you to celebrate your birthday. It sucks that I am so far away… this past month has felt like forever, and I know it’s been so difficult for you too. -hugs- Hang in there baby, I’ve moved my flight forward, I’ll see you in 36 days. 36 darling!
All I want is to be able to hold you close and tell you that everything will be alright, that life will work out, and that all these troubles pounding down on us will melt in the face of our love. Please believe in us baby, I do. I’m not letting you go, ever!
So… err… how do I get into that So You Think You Can Dance thing? I’ll do it if you do it. And it’ll be good exercise too! -nodnod- Actually, I did look into taking a few dance lessons while I am back here. My brother David has been taking dance lessons and even going for competitions, but when I asked him about it the price really turned me off. Hmm, I guess if I think about it in US dollars it doesn’t seem all THAT much. Still a hefty amount though.
I’m actually rather glad that you had that birthday BBQ, it’s good that you had some fun. Even if I couldn’t be there, at least you were surrounded by friends and family who love you. That’s what’s most important to me, that you be loved, that you feel loved.
And I try, every day baby, I try to show you my love, to make you feel loved. Because you deserve it, Victoria Zhong. You’re the bestestest girl in the whole wide world. You deserve to be happy.
So… Happy Birthday darling. I love you.
-muah!-
Huggles and Cuddles,
Eric ♥♥♥
06.05.08
All about… Butterflies
dear Victoria
rawr! so after hours and hours of working on that last waggytailheart, i have finally gotten real tired of hearts. and i think perhaps you might be too! haha, anyway, like i was saying earlier, our next project should totally be the butterfly from the pillow i gave you.
it really amazed me that day when i visited your room and saw that you had put up the very same pattern on your wall. it’s true that you had to point it out to me, (sorry, hadn’t been to your room very often then) but when i did notice it i was all like: awwwwwwwww….
all the effort that must have gone into cutting out and pasting all those small little pieces… sigh… that totally melted my heart. and it was like you did it all for me… in a way.
so yeah, we’ll have to figure out a way to draw out the same thing with our little ♥’s. looks like it’s going to be a monumental effort. i foresee lots of frustration and irritation on my part… then no doubt you’ll come in and save the day again. sigh. haha. i love you sooooo much! muah!!
you know… i don’t think about it often enough. i really don’t. but sometimes it just hits me, like a truck, how overwhelmingly lucky i am to have you. it happens when i’m reading your ‘pointless’ letters, looking at your photos, watching the videos you make for me for the 20th time… it happens when you pick me up for another piggyback ride, when you put your arm around me and pull me closer as we walk together, as i stare into your eyes as we lay down to sleep at night… you would do so much for me, so very much. and i wonder what i ever did to deserve you.
all i ever want is be close to you, to feel that nice sort of leaning into me that you do. i really love those moments. feeling the weight of your head just resting on my shoulders. it’s a simple sort of happiness, but i treasure it above everything else in the world.
wait for me darling… i’ll be back.
yours, muchly,
Eric
06.04.08
Just Another Love Note
Dear Eric,
So here I am tidying up my room and moving furniture around. Meanwhile, we’re on MSN talking about… my brother vs you. It’s so unfair how his girlfriend gets to come over whenever she wants to, and I can’t even seeee you D= and when I DO see you over webcam, you’re all green! haha sigh.
I really hope you can get a good date to fly in on. Let’s hope it’s not rainy and that trains are working and everything goes smoooothly. sigh. I just want you here already. in my arms. touching me. peacefully.
Reowr. It’s 2:30 .. an hour after your enforced time for me to sleep, haha. I’m sorry. but I’m just going to continue typing away random stuff. lalala.
So here in NY right now, it’s raining a bit. It’s still pretty hot here [in my room] — about 85 degrees Fahrenheit. I’m hoping Sunday’s going to be a sunny day or else I’d have to cancel my birthday thing.. oh well. I don’t care too much about it anyway, haha, especially since you’re not here.
I really really miss you, but the good thing is, it’s not really affecting my appetite anymore. I’ve been eating like a pig the past two days. sigh..and regaining all that weight I lost.
So I wonder what you’re up to now.. not really talking much anymore. It’d be pretty ironic if you were the one falling asleep on me rather than the other way around then again, our sleep cycles ARE pretty messed up x_X oh dear.. the things we do for each other, meh? =P or maybe you got disconnected.. assuming so since you’re off on gtalk. reowrrr.
Alright. I’m going to stop all this randomness rightttt…
….
..now.
I love you. Come back to me soon, both online and in real life. I need you, Eric. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this without breaking down all over again. The sad thing is, it’s only been 2.5 weeks..
I miss you. soso much. Can’t wait till you get back.. and then I’ll take you out to the coolest places in NYC that we didn’t get to go to last time. Sounds good? I hope so. <3
Love you muchly,
Victoria
